Having empathy is a wonderful trait. Being able to automatically feel for someone is a gift. It gives us the ability to support them through their times of joy and sadness. You walk alongside them, with them, emotionally holding their hand whilst they figure out what works and what doesn’t work.

So what does being Empathic mean? The dictionary says “showing an ability to understand and share the feelings of another”.

This, in itself, is a thing of beauty. Many people naturally hold space for sharing other’s feelings. However, more and more I hear people using “I am an Empath” as a reason to put their wants and needs on hold. Let’s re-read the above. I don’t know about you, but suddenly I feel drained, tired and even a bit overwhelmed with the thought of being that person for someone else.

When we push our concern into someone else’s life, quite often it is not for selfless reasons. From my experience, it is usually because we are avoiding a big “something” in our own life. When we are out of our comfort zone, dealing with someone else’s “stuff” is a nicely deserved rest from our own life.

Note this! The dictionary description did NOT say,
“showing an ability to understand and share the feelings of another BUT ONLY AT THE DETRIMENT OF YOUR OWN NEEDS, WANTS, DECISIONS”.

Being empathic is a wonderful gift. But just as with all gifts in life, we need to use our gift wisely and with care ensuring that we don’t make an EXCUSE for not attending to our own matters by immersing ourselves in other people’s.